


dreamland

by julesmpm



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, Arya's POV, Canon Compliant, F/M, It Ain't Easy, Love, heartbreak hotel, post 8x4, spoilers for 8x4
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2020-02-27 02:32:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 550
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18729946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/julesmpm/pseuds/julesmpm
Summary: She knows, in her very soul, that she’ll never be able to be what he’s asking for.(a teeny little piece on Arya's perspective of the question that Gendry poses)





	dreamland

**Author's Note:**

> Ok.  
> So I know we're all super salty about THAT moment in 8x4 tonight, but I definitely have some differing feelings on the whole situation. I'll leave some more of that in my end notes, but for now I'll just say that I really really just wanted to briefly look at this scene a little more in depth with our favourite gal.  
> This is super unedited, I just wanted to get it written and up on here while it was fresh.  
> Enjoy!

“Be my wife. Be the Lady of Storm’s End.”

 

And her heart drops to her stomach.

 

He’s on one knee, right in front of her, and she’s still trying to conceal that she’s marveling over the fact that he’s still alive, that he was named a rightful Baratheon and that she was the one he wanted to tell first when he does it and her mind goes numb.

 

His eyes are so wide, so bright, so _young_. He looks happier than she’s ever seen him look, the innocence of a child written in every crease of his face, and a part of her wants to laugh and caress his cheeks with her thumbs and nod and agree and _move on_.

 

But _wife_.

 

_My wife_.

 

_Lady_.

 

The words land like rocks on her shoulders, and they weigh her down. They bring her back down to earth, away from the mindless euphoria that she had so briefly imagined.

 

She knows, in her very soul, that she’ll never be able to be what he’s asking for, suggesting. With a name of his stature, he needs someone who’s been brought up to be the very word she’s dreaded for so many years.

 

The word she’s repeatedly asked him to stop calling her.

 

_Mi’lady_.

 

The thought quite nearly cracks her heart in two.

 

Perhaps he didn’t know her as well she’d allowed herself to hope.

 

She can’t be his lady of Storm’s End, not with her breeches and short hair and Needle and list of names that is forever at the forefront of her mind.

 

And so she kneels down, cups his face in her palms, and presses her lips to his in a long, steady kiss. He reciprocates immediately, and even though she knows that she’s leading him towards the wrong answer, she doesn’t break away.

 

She lets herself savor what may well be (but she certainly hopes is not) her last kiss with Gendry Waters.

 

When she pulls away, she takes a fleeting moment to keep her eyes closed, to live in the dreamland that’s potential was at her fingertips. And then she opens them, and he looks so happy, so very in love, that she could cry.

 

“You’ll be a wonderful lord.” She smiles with her words, steady and matter of fact, and she lets her eyes take in every detail of his kind, soft, beautiful face. “And any lady would be lucky to have you.”

 

She watches his face fade into confusion, watches as the euphoria melts away in the candlelight, and all she can do is hope that her face won’t melt into the emotions that she’s feeling.

 

“But I’m not a lady.” She doesn’t break eye contact, remains steady, solid. “I never have been. That’s not me.”

 

He steps back, and she wishes that she could pretend that she didn’t see the pain in his eyes, could pretend that she would never have any reason to hurt him.

 

She wishes she could pretend that it was the wrong choice, too. But she could never lie to herself like that.

 

And so she turns, raises her bow, and takes another aim at the target, just as his footsteps tell her that he’s begun to walk away.

 

And, for the first time that she can remember, she misses the target completely.

**Author's Note:**

> Ready for my thoughts?  
> As lovely and heartwarming as it would've been for Arya to say yes to Gendry in that moment, I think it's a real testament to her character as a whole that she refused. Gendry literally asked her to be a lady, something that she has corrected him on SO many times in the past, and it was a little frustrating to me that he would word it in such a way (but D&D obviously knew what they were doing). I think I would've honestly been more upset if she had said yes and disregarded the fact that he phrased it using a term that she is SO against.  
> That being said, I don't think and certainly don't hope that that scene was the last we see of Gendry in the series. I honestly think that there is still a chance for Gendrya to be endgame, if they both survive until the end of the series. If he realizes his mistake and comes back with a new and improved offer (moving into a relationship on her terms also), we may still end up with these two having some sort of happily ever after.
> 
> I mean, I can dream, right?
> 
> xo


End file.
